In which Charles becomes bald
by IberisGalloway
Summary: Yes, the story in which Charles Francis Xavier becomes bald. Can't write more without giving away the the little plot I managed to squeeze into this...Basically Charles gets bald and Erik is to blame...


**Author's note: Okay, I was watching a McFassy/ Fassavoy interview and this urge to write this! God! I have Friends with Benefits and Make You Feel My Love to update! Writer's block! Hope this helps! But ENJOY!** **This is not really a crack fic since I have seen great, meaningful plot crack over here in FFN; this ain't one of em! :p** _For the sake of this fic, the beach scene happened without any complications, Erik killed Shaw but kept the helmet; No crazy idea for the formation of brotherhood. Raven stayed and blah blah blah: D_

_**Disclaimer: Do I really need to write it? You know Marvel belongs to me so why bother stating the obvious!**_

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Erik Lensherr was a man on mission; he stealthily walked down the corridors. He latched onto the wall as he heard an incoming sound. He peered round the corner to see the retreating figure of Sean who was sliding along on his socks and boxers with a half eaten sandwich. Every other occupant in the house was sleeping as it was expected during 2 am. Everyone but Erik, because as mentioned above, he was a man on mission. And he had great reason to be to.

He latched himself onto the adjacent wall and crawled down the hallway with his back against the wall, tiptoeing in order to maintain silence. He looked to his left then to his right and slowly latched open the bolts holding the door to Charles's room. He adjusted the helmet on his head as he grinned to himself. 'Oh! Never doubt a Lensherr' and giggled, which of course he wouldn't admit on gun point. But then again he wouldn't really be threatened by a bullet, would he? He controls metal for god sake! Yeah, so he giggled "heehee". He was grinning as mad but slowly he got into his mode of action and put on his game face. A face that he couldn't maintain for more than a few seconds as he overcame with a bad case of gigglitis (yes, I am a very lame author)

"Oh! Charles. We had to do this the hard way, huh?" Erik whispered into Charles ear, ignoring the urge lick the shell. He sufficed with planting a short trail of kiss on Charles's jaw and softly running his hand through his soft locks; he didn't want to wake him up so he had to reluctantly stop. "I will miss this..." He murmured softly tugging the last brown lock over the ear.

He took the shaving razor out of his jacket and snickered, covering his mouth. Oh Charles! The joy you give me sometimes. He kissed the top of Charles's head as his mouth spread itself into a splitting grin.

10 minutes in and clumps of brown hair covered the pillow and the carpet on which it had fallen. Of course, this wasn't enough for Erik who pulled out a black marker with an evil glint in his eyes. Hell! He had that glint all along.

Finally, when he was done, he looked at his "work of art" and smirked. "Let the morning roll in."

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In the morning the kitchen was filled with the young mutants doing their morning routine. Sean was slurping his cereal, spilling it all over; Hank was flipping blueberry pancakes; Alex was drinking apple juice and Raven was busily hogging the bacon. Erik walked in with a smug, anticipatory shark-esque grin and pulled the plate of bacon from Raven, gulped down apple juice from Alex and burned his fingers while pulling a hot pancake from the pan. He flashed a look of disgust towards Sean who waved at Erik with his spoonful of milk that splashed Raven who threw a dinner mat at him.

"Watch it Banshee!" She yelled and pulled the bacon from Erik.

Erik wasn't bothered because, he knew in a few minutes, he was going to be thoroughly entertained. He smiled his shark grin that had most children shit heir pants.

"I don't know about you but Erik looks too happy; this can't be good." Alex murmured to the table making sure Erik didn't hear him.

"Maybe he and Charles had a morning quickie." Sean said looking over his bowl. Hank looked nauseous at that thought, and so did Alex but Raven looked deeply disturbed.

"SEAN! Not to my ears!" Raven yelled, repeatedly slamming him with the aforementioned dinner mat.

"Hey Hey! Hey!" Sean started yelling but a loud screech within their minds interrupted them. There could only be one reason for that and it was Charles. The kids all started look worriedly at each other and thus missed Erik whispering to himself.

"And now it begins"

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Charles woke up from a fascinating dream and lifted his arms over his head stretching and yawning. He reached his scalp to finger-comb his hair to which he found that he couldn't feel his hair. His eyes widened and he patted his head, which was shaven clean! Then, he saw it, the clumps of brown hair on his pillow and on the floor beside the bed. He didn't have much to ponder upon what had happened. He just knew it! So he yelled, yelled at the top of his lungs and didn't care if his mental telepathy could carry the echo to everyone since he wasn't in the best control of his abilities. (He would call himself emotionally distraught.) So he kept yelling. One name in particular as he made his way to where his mind told him where the culprit was. To the kitchen. He kept yelling.

"ERIK FUCKING LENSHERR!"

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What Charles should have realised was that Erik wouldn't be just satisfied with merely shaving his hair off. So, when he made his way into the kitchen and everyone just stopped midway, and then burst out into the biggest laugh, he should have assumed than far worse had been done to him but he didn't. He merely pointed at Erik and spluttered "You! You! You! Vile, evil little cockroach!" and stomped away with a dramatic huff, which to be fair he deserved.

Only when we made into his room and to the bathroom to examine his precious hair or lack of said precious hair did he notice why the kids had burst out laughing. Not only was he bald and missing eyebrows (therefore he had a look of constant surprise etched upon his face). He had a black moustache and "Property of Erik" drawn on his forehead. And the nerve of that guy! There was a small smiley at the end of it.

"ERIK LENSHERRR!" and hence, the occupants of the house were once again victims of a mental static. "No more sex for you! NO MORE! I am going celibate!" he mentally messaged Erik with a huff.

Only moments after that, a slightly disgruntled Erik Lensherr flung open the door to Charles's room, who was collecting his precious, beautiful, beloved, treasured...-you get the point- hair into a bag, and don't believe him when he says he wasn't caressing each clump he could manage. He had scrubbed the marks off his face; his face looking more flushed.

"Charles! You are not going celibate!" Erik yelled from across the room, folding his arms.

"Yes, I am, Erik. My life is meaningless anymore. I have no dignity or hair left." Charles replied tartly, but a sniffle escaped him.

"Charles! It is just hair!" beautiful hair but hair nonetheless. "And if I remembered correctly I had complete permission from you to shave it."

"Well, I..My..Oh! I didn't think you would actually do it!" Charles spluttered out indignantly.

"Oh liebling, I am a man of my words." Erik coyly stated as he made his way forward. "If I say I can make you cum under 5 minutes with my mouth alone, I will; if you wager your hair on otherwise, I will see to it that you cum under 5 minutes and your precious hair is gone." Erik was now chest to chest with Charles who looked preciously adorable. "Oh Charles, you know your exact words were "If you can make me cum in 5 minutes, which you can't; you can shave me bald!""

"I said in the spur of the moment!" Charles said, disbelievingly.

"You look too cute when you pout." Erik ignored Charles and started to kiss his neck.

Charles tried to maintain a stern face but he found his resolves crumbling as a soft moan escaped him. "Hmm. Erik, This doesn't mean I forgive you..."

"I am sorry, Charles." Erik said, not sounding least apologetic. "I will make it up to you, okay?"

"Anything?" Charles asked, moving his face to face Erik.

"Anything." Erik mumbled into Charles clavicle as he suckled upon them. He didn't notice Charles's face twist into a devious smile and if he had he probably wouldn't have said it "I would do anything for you, Charles."

Charles merely said "Give me 5 minutes to make you cum."

~THE END~

**Okay, I know this story might be filled with errors and plot holes and stuff but this was a spur of the moment work that the plot bunnies forced me to write upon gun point! Please review and let me know how terrible it is or isn't? :) **

**So, have a nice day and DO make my day with your precious review:) **

_**¬Iberis Galloway**_


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